Open hearts

If I'm still enough, I hear her voice. Where before, not too long ago, her voice was a faint whisper, now I can tell that she's growing more confident. I don't remember the last time in my life when I heard my heart speak so clearly as it does now. It's still somewhat of a murmur compared to where I remember it being once-upon-a-time but still, time has done her beautiful healing and I feel like even if now is a season for dying, I feel a rekindling of hope lighting inside of me.

I accredit my ability to keep my heart open to my yoga practice and to the people I have chosen to surround myself with now. I continue to make bad decisions, for sure, but I am able to more easily forgive myself. Like those days in my not-so-distant past when all I could do was cry and feel sorrow, I allow myself to feel and I forgive myself of my mistakes because it is through all of this that I come to terms with my humanness. And I hear that beautiful inner voice telling me in strong language (that somehow doesn't amount to actual words)when I'm not following my true path; when I deviate from the direction my heart wants to go. And then I stop and listen...shaking my head in agreement with her. It's a marvelous place to be in life...waking up from a blurry dream and finding the world alive and beautiful spreading its tree branches, brushing up against you through a furry friend or in the embrace of a new friend who teaches you to continue to keep your heart open.

I will continue to refuse to be overrun by burdens of yesterday. Living in the present, as I have learned to do and continue learning to do, has been the best gift I could have ever received. I aspire to be someone who loves beyond the hurt and who trusts beyond the betrayal. If I never do anything else in my life, I hope that I will one day know true, "can't live without you" love.